


Cast in Stone

by OverthinkingThis



Series: Soulmates, in Every World [1]
Category: Chinese Actor RPF, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) RPF
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe, Choking Kink, Feeding Kink, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, M/M, Please Don't Hate Me, Praise Kink, Social Media, Soulmates, bts gone wild
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:35:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28432530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OverthinkingThis/pseuds/OverthinkingThis
Summary: Five times they weren’t cast as soulmates and one time they were.Or: you can't keep Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan apart no matter how you cast them.UPDATED WITH NEW CHAPTER OF RIDICULOUSNESS
Relationships: Wang Yi Bo & Xiao Zhan | Sean, Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan | Sean
Series: Soulmates, in Every World [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2114349
Comments: 51
Kudos: 230





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This nonsense came out of a late-night conversation with [esmeraldablazingsky](https://archiveofourown.org/users/esmeraldablazingsky/pseuds/esmeraldablazingsky), which is probably proof I should just go to bed earlier instead of thinking about these two. Thanks to Esmeralda and [ShamelessPeterPan (PiscesDragon)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PiscesDragon/pseuds/ShamelessPeterPan) for the quick beta read!
> 
> It's my first attempt at writing an AU, so if you prefer your nonsense to be canon-compliant, check out my other works [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24669283/chapters/59612737) or [here](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1998622).

**❤️ Casting Scenario 1 -- what if it happened like this? 💚**

Xiao Zhan is in Hengdian, sweating into his thick black robes (even at night, what the hell), but he’s loving every second. He knows that half the guys on set auditioned for the role he’s got, and he can’t help but to squeal a little that it’s his.

_I finally get to play a villain._

Today he’s strapped into a harness to shoot a dramatic sword fight in the Chang sect courtyard. It’s not Xiao Zhan’s first time with wires or swords, but he’s been looking forward to shooting it because it’s an action-packed sequence with plenty of opportunity for him to do some scene-stealing as the unhinged-but-brilliant Xue Yang.

And it will be his first chance to work with Wang Yibo, who is playing Xiao Xingchen.

Xiao Zhan doesn’t know much about Yibo, but knows he’s a gifted dancer, which will help in his role as the beautiful, graceful, and ethereal Xiao Xingchen. If Xiao Zhan is nervous about anything, it’s whether he can hold up his end of their big fight scene and make it look good.

He’s met Wang Yibo only once before, over a year ago, on the set of _Tian Tian Xiang Shang,_ where Yibo is the youngest and newest of the hosts. He doesn’t say a whole lot, but if there’s some physical stunt or skill to be demonstrated, Yibo’s the one they turn to.

They barely talked during the _TTXS_ episode they shot together. And because of Yibo’s hosting duties for _TTXS_ and the fact that he’s _also_ a dance mentor on _Produce 101_ , Yibo missed the _Cheng Qing Ling_ bootcamp entirely. 

Since Yibo apparently arrived from Changsha just this morning, they’re about to meet for the first time in over a year _right now_.

Xiao Zhan _really_ wishes he’d had more warning for this introduction.

Because when Yibo arrives, Xiao Zhan’s mind goes blank. 

Yibo is _gorgeous_.

Maybe it’s the way the white robes he’s wearing just _hint_ at the planes of his body. Or maybe it’s his small face, the sharpness of his jawline, the intensity of his eyes. Or the fullness of the lips that Xiao Zhan is staring at with a slightly slack-jawed gape, before he comes to and reluctantly drags his eyes away. It’s all of it.

Yibo has to have caught him staring, because he coughs and looks down as he bows slightly. “Wang Yibo,” he says, still not meeting Xiao Zhan’s eyes.

If Xiao Zhan has made him uncomfortable, once they begin rehearsing the fight choreography, any awkwardness dissipates, and Yibo is nothing but professional, executing all of his moves fluidly and exactly as the choreographer has directed. It’s all Xiao Zhan can do to keep up.

When the director calls for a break to reset the scene, Xiao Zhan slumps onto a bench to catch his breath -- as much as he’s able to while still hanging on wires, anyway. Yibo stays on his feet, idly pacing.

“ _Wah_ , Wang Laoshi is so good,” Xiao Zhan can’t resist saying. “Wang Laoshi doesn’t even break a sweat while fighting! Truly, I cannot compare!”

Yibo narrows his eyes, as if he’s trying to decide whether he’s being mocked or teased. A small smile creeps up one side of his lips as he pins Xiao Zhan with a steady gaze.

“You’re wrong,” he says, his smirk in full bloom now, “It’s me who cannot compare with Xiao Laoshi’s beauty.”

Xiao Zhan feels a burst of warmth in his chest that spreads quickly, reddening his cheeks and burning all the way up to the tips of his ears. “Wang Laoshi,” he sputters. “Are you even human?”

 _I am so screwed_ , Xiao Zhan thinks.

\-------------

_I am so screwed_ , Yibo thinks.

He’s meeting Xiao Zhan for the first time in over a year and is finding that the torch he’s been carrying for the man since the day they met on set for _TTXS_ has not gone out -- not even a little bit.

His manager has no idea about any of this, and so doesn’t understand why he insisted on taking this part. It’s an interesting role, sure, but it’s _small,_ and any rational person would say it isn’t worth the chaos it is causing to Yibo’s already-packed schedule.

It’s worth it to Yibo, though, just to get these two months on set with Xiao Zhan.

His absurd crush on a man he’s barely spoken to before is definitely worse now, with Xiao Zhan looking crazy hot in his black robes and smirking his way through his lines. He’s so beautiful that Yibo could only manage to say his name to him at first, averting his eyes because he didn’t trust himself not to do or say something stupid while looking at his flawless face.

But once they begin to rehearse together, Yibo is surprised to find that -- despite the fact that Xiao Zhan’s playing a psychopath -- his presence is an oddly comforting one. Yibo feels free around him in a way that he didn’t expect to, and so it isn’t long before they fall into a routine of teasing banter and playful slaps between scenes.

Yibo wants to believe that there’s something special about their easy interactions, and that it’s not just character bleed. Xue Yang is, after all, _shameless_.

He’s reminded of this during the scene they’re filming tonight, with Wang Haoxuan, the guy playing Wei Wuxian, running his hands all over Xiao Zhan’s body, looking for the Stygian Tiger Amulet. Xiao Zhan (or is it Xue Yang?) looks way too aroused by this for Yibo’s comfort.

Afterwards, Xiao Zhan all but chases Yibo down the hotel corridor.

“Hey! Wait up! Lao Wang!”

Yibo had snapped at Xiao Zhan after the scene, said some unkind words, and he knows Xiao Zhan wants to talk about it. He'll probably even apologize, as he does, which always just enrages Yibo even more because _how dare he_ be so perfect and kind about stuff that isn’t even his fault?

They’ve been working together for what? Maybe a week now? Xiao Zhan owes him nothing, but Yibo has a year’s worth of secret want built up inside him and it’s so unbearable right now that he just needs to get away from the man.

 _Goddamn it_ , though -- Xiao Zhan has these endless legs, and so he easily catches up to Yibo when he stops at his door and fumbles with his key card.

Xiao Zhan cages Yibo against the door with his arms just as the lock whirs open, so they stumble into the room off-balance. Yibo freezes in mortification as he realizes that Xiao Zhan has caught him before he hit the ground, and now Yibo is bent over backwards and staring up at Xiao Zhan like some damsel in distress swooning in the arms of a movie hero.

“Hi,” Xiao Zhan says with a bright, dimpled smile, and Yibo thinks he might combust right there. He wishes he would.

Yibo scrambles to his feet, and makes an incoherent noise as he tries to make a break for the bathroom or bedroom or anywhere that’s not _here_ , but Xiao Zhan catches a hand and pulls him back. “ _What_ is going on, Lao Wang? Why are you avoiding me and being so weird?”

“Please -- please just let me go. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry. Don’t ask me to explain,” Yibo whines, looking everywhere but at Xiao Zhan, and trying desperately to ignore the fact that they’re holding hands now.

Xiao Zhan tugs on Yibo’s hand, though, and Yibo wonders if he’s imagining that Xiao Zhan’s thumb is caressing the back of Yibo’s hand.

“I - I thought we were getting along,” Xiao Zhan says softly. “Did - did I do something wrong?”

Yibo winces. “No, no, you didn’t. Please don’t -- it’s - it’s just me being stupid.”

“Lao Wang is not stupid,” Xiao Zhan murmurs, with a slight eyebrow lift.

 _Oh_ , Yibo thinks, as Xiao Zhan leans in and kisses him.

\-------------

> _ngl, i am loving the chemistry between xy and xxc! they are my favorite part of the yi city arc -- so soft with each other… the pining eyes! song lan WHO??_

> _HAHAHAHAHA did you see the way XXC strangles Shuanghua when WWX feels up XY? I thought LWJ was supposed to be the jealous one lmao! [vinegar_king.gif]_

> _BLASPHEMY! they rlly fucked up the casting -- xxc and sl are SOULMATES wtf is this?_

> _y’all check out this bts clip tho … are xiao zhan and wang yibo tgt or smth irl? WHAT is going on here??? [manhandling.mp4]_

  
  


**❤️ Casting Scenario 2 -- what about this way? 💚**

“CHILDREN, settle down! No running in Cloud Recesses!”

Huang Ziteng makes a half-assed effort to grab the two white-robed blurs shrieking past. Well, the one in front, Wang Yibo, is shrieking. Close behind him is Xiao Zhan, who is dangling a bug in his fingers and giggling his distinctive, high-pitched laugh. 

Ziteng can’t help but laugh himself.

He’s seen a lot of weird casting decisions in his years, but casting 6-foot-tall Xiao Zhan as Lan Sizhui might be the weirdest. Although Xiao Zhan no doubt looks preternaturally young, playing a 15-year-old is still a bit of a stretch, and his height means that the actors playing Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian have to wear high heeled boots _and_ stand on boxes anytime they’re in a scene with Xiao Zhan.

Casting Wang Yibo, the idol, as Jingyi is an equally strange decision (those cheeks of his, though, _are_ pinchable and make him look baby-faced). 

Still, Ziteng has to admit that the two of them play their characters just right. Xiao Zhan portrays his Sizhui like the careful and talented good boy he is, while Wang Yibo’s Jingyi is outspoken, brash, and blunt. The on-screen dynamic is fun to watch.

And Ziteng can see the great chemistry between the two actors behind the scenes too -- when they are together, they’re fun-loving, like rambunctious 12-year-old boys. They’re a good pair, just like their characters.

Or something.

There was that time when Ziteng had a day off, and had stopped by the set to talk to Director Chen. The director was busy, though, with the 17th take of what should have been a simple moment: Sizhui feeding Jingyi a piece of chicken. 

There were the normal mishaps, like Xiao Zhan not getting a good grip on the chicken with his chopsticks and dropping it prematurely. Or the two of them giggling and not being able to stop (this happened _all the time_ with these two). 

Mostly, though, the feeding scene _just looked wrong_. Xiao Zhan would pick the chicken up too slowly, his own mouth open in a kind of nameless anticipation as he brought it to Yibo’s mouth. Or Yibo would sensuously lick his lips before opening his mouth for Xiao Zhan to feed him. Or maybe there would be a smirk, as if there were an inside joke passing between the two.

Director Chen just looked _so tense_ watching the footage after each take, and Ziteng could see why.

Only after they finally got a couple of shots that could be spliced together into something remotely appropriate did Ziteng feel it was safe to interrupt to raise his scheduling issues with the director.

And thankfully, that was the last shot for the juniors that night, because Director Chen was just _done_ with them.

When Ziteng went back to the hotel later, he passed by Yibo’s suite and heard that distinctive high-pitched sound. 

But it wasn’t a giggle.

\-------------

> _the juniors are the best bois! sizhui and jingyi are so much fun to watch!_

> _SIZHUI/JINGYI BUDDY MOVIE WHERE!?!?_

> _OMG!!!1!! I heard a BL spinoff for them is in the works!!!!!_

> _HALP THE CHICKEN WING BTS WTF AM I WATCHING????? *faints* [feeding_kink.mp4]_

> _Hooooooly crap did you see the huang ziteng douyin today? he’s a madman -- does he ship xz and wyb???? [crazyuncle.mp4]_

  
  


**❤️ Casting Scenario 3 -- it could have happened this way 💚**

Xiao Zhan waves his script under Yibo’s nose. It’s practically glowing fluorescent orange with all the lines he has to memorize for his role as Meng Yao. He sighs with exasperation and moans, “Is this reasonable?”

Yibo shrugs. He really doesn’t want to get into this discussion, because he doesn’t want to have to explain why _he_ took a role with so _few_ lines (he already has this conversation with his manager almost every week, since it’s messing with his schedule for other, more high-profile projects). 

And it’s not even like Su She is a cool character. He’s the incompetent cultivator who flings his sword into the water to try to take down a water ghoul, loses his sword, and then has to be rescued by that arrogant prick, Lan Wangji.

 _And_ he’s the coward who betrays the Lan Sect by giving up the secret about the forehead ribbons to Wen Xu.

But then Su She spends the rest of the drama at Meng Yao’s side, so that’s good enough for Yibo.

Oh, and he gets to do some badass sword fighting with a cool mask on.

It’s that mask that gives Yibo the idea of giving Su She a little bit more flair -- to play him as a kind of anti-hero. Surprisingly, Director Chen is into it -- he decides it injects a bit of ambiguity into Su She’s character and fits nicely into the “What is right? What is wrong? What is black? What is white?” theme of the drama.

It doesn’t really work to make Su She a Cool Guy and not also make Meng Yao more cool (but not so cool that he wouldn’t get kicked down the stairs or carry a massive chip on his shoulder), so Yibo and Xiao Zhan talk into the night about how to elevate their characters from the typically cartoonish bad guy types to something more subtle, complex, and appealing.

“Should I give Meng Yao a tic, like how Wei Wuxian has that nose scratch thing? What if I bit my lip like this?” Xiao Zhan bites his lip and adds a kind of evil smoldering look to it. 

Yibo’s brain shorts out. _Fuck._

Xiao Zhan laughs at the look on Yibo’s face. “Oh no, was that too much?” 

“No, no,” Yibo assures him, recovering. “It was - it was good! I just -- _ah_ \-- wasn’t ready for that.” 

“Should I come up with one too?” He thinks for a moment. “What if Su She did something like this?” Yibo slowly licks his lips then curls them into a sly, sexy smirk.

Xiao Zhan’s eyes widen. “Mn. Yes, that’s good," he breathes. “What else can we do?”

Yibo stops breathing for a moment before he realizes that Xiao Zhan is talking about their characters. He thinks, anyway.

Xiao Zhan goes on. “Maybe there's something in their story we can work with. You - you know the backstory for them, don’t you? Like… ummm… Why it is that Su She is so... _slavishly_ devoted to Meng Yao?”

Yibo shakes his head, but fixes his eyes on Xiao Zhan to urge him to continue.

“Basically,” Xiao Zhan says, “Meng Yao paid attention to Su She. He praised him.” Xiao Zhan leans in, does the lip bite thing, and says, “I imagine he probably told him something like, ‘you play the guqin so well.’”

Yibo swallows.

“Or maybe... maybe he tells Su She what a _good boy_ he is.”

A tiny squeaking noise escapes from Yibo.

“Or,” Xiao Zhan goes on, staring Yibo down with the evil smolder, “maybe he tells him, ‘I like the way you handle your... sword.’”

There's a muffled _oof_ as Yibo tackles him.

\-------------

> _I HATE THIS. SU SHE IS *SUPPOSED* TO SUCK I DON’T WANT TO WANT HIM_

> _WOAH i never imagined what it would be like if su she were HOT_ 🔥 _[wyb_hotsushe1.jpg]_

> _dflhgfjdfghjfsd kick me down the stairs meng yao [xiaozhan238.jpg]_

> _THAT SCENE IN THE TEMPLE? THE LONGING? i’m so confused -- are we rlly shipping meng yao and SU SHE??? CQL WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME [ohthepain.gif]_

  
  


**❤️ Casting Scenario 4 -- or this way? 💚**

“Jiang Cheng! Jiang Cheng! Princess carry me!”

Yibo looks up. “What? Why should I carry _you_? I got punished too!”

“You carry me in the novel,” Xiao Zhan pouts, shaking a finger at Yibo. “You’re never going to read the original novel, are you?”

“Okay, okay,” Yibo relents. “No problem.” He gestures with his hands for Xiao Zhan to get into position.

Xiao Zhan giggles, winding his arms around Yibo’s neck and preparing to swing his legs up. 

Yibo feels a little faint with the proximity, but doesn't want to disappoint Xiao Zhan. “Boyfriend strength, no problem,” Yibo chants, almost to himself. “No problem.”

He bends and tries to scoop Xiao Zhan’s legs into his arms, but gets his hands tangled in the layers of Wei Wuxian’s black robes and then staggers under the weight. Xiao Zhan isn’t particularly _heavy_ , but it’s hard to manage six feet of him.

“A boyfriend full of strength,” Yibo grunts, willing it to be true, but Xiao Zhan’s legs slip out of his grasp. _Damn._

“Boyfriend strength, my ass!” Xiao Zhan staggers to his feet, laughing, and smacks Yibo’s arms. “We’re like _brothers_ … in this _drama_ \-- what are you thinking of, Wang Yibo?”

Yibo swats back, and then they’re at it again, windmilling their arms at each other and giggling.

Xuan Lu shakes her head fondly. “You two are always hitting each other. Why don’t you talk it out instead?”

Xiao Zhan brandishes Chenqing and chases after Yibo. “Nah, it’s more fun to mess around with _my brother_ ,” he snickers.

“ _Brother,_ ” Yibo echoes with a smirk. “But you’ll eventually leave me for Lan Zhan, you know,” he pouts. “ _Gege_.”

“I’m never leaving you or Lotus Pier, _Jiang Cheng_ ,” Xiao Zhan says, batting his eyelashes. “ _Didi_.”

“Zhan-ge,” Yibo replies, making eyes right back, “Didi ai ni.” He says it again to make sure Xiao Zhan heard, and then smacks him when the older man playfully makes retching faces. “ _Gege_ ,” he pleads, “Don't ever leave your didi.”

Xiao Zhan looks over at Liu Haikuan, who is absently twirling Bichen as he chats with Zhu Zanjin. “Lan Zhan has hidden himself away at Koi Tower… or is he at the Unclean Realm? Nightless City? I can’t keep track of where Meng Yao is right now,” he snorts. “Anyway, you won’t be able to get rid of me.”

Yibo wonders who “me” is -- whether it’s Wei Wuxian or Xiao Zhan, and whether he’s addressing Jiang Cheng or Yibo. Yibo desperately hopes he was talking about them, the actors, but doesn’t feel ready to ask.

It’s a problem, either way, all this _brotherly love_. Xiao Zhan and Haikuan are professionals, and do their best to inhabit their roles as soulmates, but there’s _something missing_ \-- something that would probably go entirely unnoticed if not for the sparks crackling elsewhere in the frame. 

Which wouldn’t be so bad if those sparks weren’t flying between the actors playing brothers.

“ _Adopted_ brother,” Yibo says with a wicked kind of grin.

“Yes, _adopted_ ,” agrees Xiao Zhan. They’re in Yibo’s room tonight -- _ahem_ \-- “running lines” for the climactic scene after Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng discover the slaughter at Lotus Pier. 

The phrase, “running lines” belongs in quotes because while Yibo has lines, Xiao Zhan doesn’t really. He’s mostly being choked.

After they finish this run-through, they’ll do it again. 

And swap roles, for the hell of it.

\-------------

> _oh no oh no this is not good what is this cursed energy between the yunmeng brothers???_

> _*screaming at the bts* did they rlly film this??? [breathplay.mp4]_

> _where are the new eps?_

> _ >>idk, did tencent stop updating?_

> _ >>>>OH SHIT THEY PULLED ALL THE EPISODES -- WHY? _

  
  


**❤️ Casting Scenario 5 -- or like this? 💚**

“Master Wei.”

Xiao Zhan looks up at Yibo and smirks. He likes the way the word “master” sounds on Yibo’s lips. _Those plush lips._ “Yeah?”

“Have you eaten yet? I brought you noodles and this.” Yibo places a half a Starbucks on the table, two straws stuck into the lid.

“But I’m not hungry,” Xiao Zhan whines. He's actually desperately hungry. The attention, though, satisfies a different hunger. He craves this too.

Yibo glares at him, looking particularly menacing with the black veins snaking up his neck from under the neckline of his heavy black costume. “Eat,” he intones, summoning as much of the fearsome Ghost General as he can in the dreary canteen. _It's kind of hot_ , Xiao Zhan thinks.

Yibo taps the container of noodles and slides it across the table to Xiao Zhan, and then he sits down, making it clear he will be supervising this meal. _Oh yeah, this is definitely kind of hot._

Xiao Zhan sighs exaggeratedly. “What’s the point of being your Master if you’re going to order me around like this?”

“Ah, what a hardship,” Yibo says sarcastically. “You have to eat fresh garlic noodles from that shop you like so much. You’re welcome.”

“Wang Laoshi is so good to me--”

Yibo makes a strangled noise. “Don't try to distract me. Just eat, Ge.”

“Wang Yibo~~” Xiao Zhan coaxes, “I advise you to be nicer.” He quirks an eyebrow. “Don't be mad, Lao Wang. I'll do whatever you want me to do.” 

“What a bargain!” Yibo grins in triumph, and taps the container of noodles again. 

“ _Aish_ , you brat!” Xiao Zhan shoves him on the shoulder, but winks a tacit _thank you_ at him. As he reaches for the noodles, he suddenly startles.

“Ah, Yubin! I didn’t see you sitting there!”

Yubin looks up mildly from his bowl of rice, regal in Hanguang-jun’s towering headpiece and pristine white robes. “Yeah, it happens. A lot, with you two.”

\-------------

> _wyb as the ghost general is INSPIRED_

> _Ahhh I’m not feeling the SOULMATE energy between wwx and lwj…_

> _ >>ikr!?!? lwj is kind third-wheeling it everytime wen ning is there *cries* _

> _I LOVE MY MEN IN BLACK #ningxian [ningxian.jpg]_

  
  


**❤️ +1 time they were cast as soulmates (a girl can dream) 💚**

“Ge, did you see this casting call?”

“Mn,” Xiao Zhan says. “Think it’s been long enough yet?”

“For what? We’ve never been leads together before -- I don’t think just being in the same cast should really count, do you?”

Xiao Zhan cocks an eyebrow at Yibo. “Somehow, despite never having been leads together before, we still have the biggest CP in China. Like, the biggest ever. I think that might factor into whether they will let us be cast together, hm?”

“I suppose,” Yibo concedes, thinking about how unfair it is that he has never played Xiao Zhan’s love interest, but might not be allowed to do it now because of how easily people can imagine them together. “It’s funny, isn’t it? That people are so enthusiastic about shipping us? Even if they haven’t seen us play romantic leads before?”

Xiao Zhan closes the book he’d been reading and shrugs his shoulders. “They aren’t wrong about us, though, so…”

“Are we that obvious, Ge?”

“Oh, I think one of us is!” Xiao Zhan grins, his eyes teasing.

Yibo shoves Xiao Zhan’s arm playfully. “As if you didn’t do your fair amount of staring during the fanmeets! Don’t pin this all on me,” Yibo warns.

“Ah,” Xiao Zhan protests, holding his hands up in surrender. “I didn’t say _which_ one of us was more obvious! Maybe we’re both a little at fault. I know it’s hard for me not to look -- to want to drop hints about this amazing guy who loves me.”

Yibo smiles helplessly and leans in for a kiss. “So,” he says, “What do you think? You know, they’ve asked if we’d be interested.”

“We’d have to both want to do it,” Xiao Zhan says, taking Yibo’s hands in his. “I wouldn’t want to do it if you weren’t opposite me.”

“I think that goes without saying, Ge,” Yibo laughs. “I don’t think I’d do well now, watching you play some other man’s soulmate, do you?”

“No,” Xiao Zhan smiles, “although I think you should know by now that you don’t have anything to worry about.”

“Okay, so… we’ll finally get to play soulmates?”

“We’re soulmates whether we’re cast that way or not. That part seems cast in stone. But… let’s go for it... see what happens.”

\-------------

> _AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! IS IT TRUE? AM I DREAMING????_

> _don’t lie to me don’t lie to me don’t lie to me… is it real? is this for real??_

> _HERE IT IS: “The Drama adaptation of Mo Xiang Tong Xiu’s BL novel #HeavenOfficialsBlessing (#TianGuanCiFu) gears up for production. Co-produced by iQiyi, Huace/Croton, & Syndication Film & TV, filming is slated to begin Q2 2021, with Chen Jialin (The Untamed) as director, Xiao Zhan as Xie Lian, and Wang Yibo as Hua Cheng….”_

> _*screaming*_


	2. Found Footage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One more cursed casting choice...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This extra chapter is all Pika's fault. After reading the original work, she said to me, "wouldn't it be funny if..." and this is the result. So I made her beta it. Thank you (or maybe I should say I'm sorry)! Thanks also to [esmeraldablazingsky](https://archiveofourown.org/users/esmeraldablazingsky/pseuds/esmeraldablazingsky) for once again reading my nonsense. All errors are mine (blah blah standard disclaimers that this is a work of fiction).

❤️ **Bonus Scenario 💚**

  
  


“You need to go take care of your GIRLFRIEND~~” Yibo pouts.

Xiao Zhan rolls his eyes at his clingy castmate and turns to look at Lu Enjie, who’s on the far side of the cave set, fretting over some wardrobe malfunction. She’s playing Wang Lingjiao, the mistress of Xiao Zhan’s character, the odious Wen Chao.

“Lao Wang, you are so poisonous,” Xiao Zhan says, not for the first time today. He shakes out his red sleeves. “You’re gonna ask me if I like Jiao Jiao? Shall we ask Director Chen to add that to the script?”

“GIRLFRIEND~~” Yibo says again.

“ _Aiyo_ , Lao Wang,” Xiao Zhan groans, shoving Yibo’s shoulder. “You’re basically playing my wife, don’t you know?” 

Yibo glares at him. “What? I’m -- what?”

“We never meet Wen Chao’s wife in the drama, but _your_ character has some strange commitment to mine, ah? So devoted,” he says with a dreamy sigh. “You’ll do _anything_ for me.”

Yibo pretends to kick Xiao Zhan, black robes swirling. “Wen Zhuliu owes your dad a debt, that’s all! Because Wen Ruohan gave me a promotion.” He raises an eyebrow. “I’m your _bodyguard_ … what is this ‘wife’ crap?”

“What did you take Wen Chao’s name for, then?” Xiao Zhan points at Yibo and lets loose his trademark giggle. “You used to be Zhao Zhuliu and now you’re a Wen. WIFE. My WIFE.”

Yibo swings his arms at Xiao Zhan and the makeup jiejie who had come to check on them ducks for cover, squealing.

“So rude, this gege,” he quips to a nearby cameraman.

Xiao Zhan slaps Yibo with his sleeves. “Shut up, _wife_.”

Yibo very deliberately folds his fingers down, one by one, until just the middle one remains. “What? _Waaahhh_ ,” he says, pleased with himself, waving the obscene gesture at Xiao Zhan.

Xiao Zhan flips it right back with a shout. “Yeah, that’s right! Whatcha gonna do about it?”

The cameraman zooms in on their antics as a group of costume jiejie surround Xiao Zhan to fix his robes. “Look what Wang Yibo has forced me to do,” he complains. “He abuses me like this during filming every day. I’m going CRAZY.”

Yibo snorts, eager to defend himself on camera. “When did I abuse him? He scolds me every day.”

“Do I scold you or is it you scolding me every day? You pick on me every day,” Xiao Zhan says accusingly. “Always hitting me.” Then he grins, reciting lines from their daily play-fights. “Are you human, Wang Yibo? Be nicer.”

Yibo casually lifts the skirt of his robes and reaches into his shorts to rearrange himself as he eyes Xiao Zhan. “I wouldn’t dare, gege~~. I wouldn’t dare hit you, gege~~.”

“You hit me--” Xiao Zhan begins, and then stops abruptly when he notices where Yibo’s hands are. He rakes a scorching gaze down Yibo’s body, then looks back up to meet Yibo’s eyes before he cocks his head and suggestively rolls his tongue into his cheek. 

Pleased to have the man’s full attention, Yibo smiles. 

Xiao Zhan drops his eyes back down to where Yibo’s hands are still down his shorts.

The camera catches it all.

There’s something in the clammy cave air, because Xiao Zhan and Yibo are still at it when shooting starts.

“Wen Zhuliu! Save me!” Xiao Zhan laughs -- or tries to, because he’s got an arm wrapped around his neck. 

“Hold still for a minute.” Director Chen orders, then turns to confer with an assistant on the blocking for the scene where Wei Wuxian holds Wen Chao hostage during the cave battle.

“So tight,” Xiao Zhan coughs out.

Yibo raises an eyebrow, interested. “Does it feel good? A new experience!”

A sly smile creeps across Xiao Zhan’s face as he warms to the game. “A brand new world of experience.” He bats his eyelashes at Yibo. “Do you want to play?”

An audible groan sounds over Xiao Zhan’s shoulder, and the actor playing Wei Wuxian pleads with Director Chen, “can I take a break?” The arm around Xiao Zhan’s neck loosens and slides away.

Yibo widens his eyes and fixes an exaggerated innocent gaze on Xiao Zhan. “Play what?”

“Do you want to experience it?” Xiao Zhan blinks his eyes meaningfully.

Yibo tilts his head. “Do _you_ really want to experience it?”

“What are you talking about?” Xiao Zhan smirks. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“I don’t understand either,” Yibo laughs.

Director Chen sighs heavily.

\-------------

Xiao Zhan gratefully takes a steamed bun from Yibo and smiles sweetly. “Ahh, Wen Zhuliu, you are so good to me.”

They’ve finally finished filming their last scene in the Yiling Supervisory Office and are now in the makeup room getting cleaned up.

“Eat.” Yibo orders. His face softens into an amused expression and he can’t resist running his fingers through the wispy hair on top of Xiao Zhan’s head as the makeup jiejie peels off the bald cap.

“Ugh, I look awful,” Xiao Zhan whines, holding a hand over his scabby face. _What the fuck did Wei Wuxian do to Wen Chao_ , he wonders, looking into the mirror.

“Xiao-laoshi is always beautiful,” Yibo tries -- and fails -- to say with a straight face.

“Shut up, you.”

“Xiao-laoshi has no bad angles,” Yibo deadpans as the makeup jiejie pulls the last of the latex scabs off of Xiao Zhan’s cheeks.

Xiao Zhan bares his teeth and slaps Yibo. The makeup jiejie screeches and flees.

“Gege~~” Yibo laughs as Xiao Zhan gets out of the makeup chair and advances menacingly towards Yibo. “Stop misbehaving or I will melt your golden core with my hands.” Yibo smirks as he shoots his palm out towards Xiao Zhan, who slaps his hand away.

“Core Melting Hand… don’t hit me, you’ll melt my - my _golden core_!” Xiao Zhan rolls the words “golden core” around in his mouth, raising a mischievous eyebrow, and Yibo’s eyes widen as he catches the pun. _Golden core… eggs... testicles…_

Yibo’s face splits open with a broad smile and croaking laugh. “Golden core! Balls!”

“Yeah, man,” Xiao Zhan giggles. “Don’t melt my balls!”

They fall against each other, laughing. Yibo makes a martial arts-like grabbing motion towards Xiao Zhan’s crotch and Xiao Zhan jumps away.

“No you can’t do that, I won’t be able to --” Xiao Zhan starts before catching himself. “Wen Chao won’t be able to get it up!”

Yibo cackles. “No, I don’t --”

“Shhhh, shhhh!” Xiao Zhan turns to glare at the cameraman, points at him to stop filming, then shoves Yibo into an adjacent dressing room, laughing. 

“...balls...”

“Haha…”

“Ha…”

“Oh…”

The dressing room door closes.

\-------------

> _OMFG this compilation of bts clips is so CURSED???_

> _Yibo has core-melting hands? WHERE IS THE LIE [wyb_yaoihands.jpg]_

> _*dead* I AM DED [jiaojiaohanging.jpg]_

> _oh god oh god i can’t stop thinking about wen chao’s melted balls ahahahahaaha [friedeggs.gif]_

> _HELP! 5 MINUTES AND DELETED ALREADY??? [cactus.jpg]_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I took some liberties with the real bts, but I couldn't resist. These boys are _ridiculous_.
> 
> Oh, and the balls joke: golden core in Chinese is 金丹, or jīn dān, and dàn (蛋) is "egg," which is slang for balls or testicles...

**Author's Note:**

> No references! That feels weird, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway!
> 
> Please leave a comment and let me know what you thought -- I've never written an AU before, and feedback will help me improve!
> 
> Also, with this work, I've written over 100k words for 2020, which seems kind of surreal, given that I never read or wrote fic before this. Thanks to everyone who has read along and encouraged me. Writing for this fandom has been my therapy this crazy year. Happy new year, and hope 2021 is a better year for you all!


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